I can't believe we are already 9 days into the year.
Sometimes I can't believe how far behind I am. Then sometimes I think about how far I have actually come on a lot of fronts that plagued me personally lately. I'm doing OK.
Proud to say I haven't smoked in a month. Or more? Not sure, but it's been a while. It's nice to have that craving and then find the power inside to say fuck off.
I'm on a different level with the kids lately. They are blowing me away. They are dealing with some serious stuff in the most mature way I could have ever imagined. I am beyond proud of the people that they are. They teach me how to be a better person every single day.
I like where I am going. I just can't get there fast enough...but the patience has been part of my lesson, and I know that this time I'm learning it from some of the most amazing and most patience-filled people I have ever met. And inside of me is one of them...listening, waiting, learning, opening up and releasing all kinds of negative energy and creating a deeper level of awareness than anything I have ever known.
Every day my energy levels get better and better, and as a result, I am beginning to believe I will catch back up with my work and my life, and I don't get so anxious or bent out of shape about it when I'm not there yet. Hard to explain, but it's pretty monumental for me.
I'm building a new temple.
I'm open to the divine.
I'm always, if nothing else, grateful every minute of every day. I still think it's the secret. Always have.