Tuesday, January 14, 2014


I read something cool this morning. 

"Unhealthy love is being powerless, selfish and enabling. It has no boundaries. Unhealthy love is unconditional and yet contingent. It is immature, irresponsible and dependent. Unhealthy love is urgent. There is a desperation behind it which produces manipulation and compromise of self. Unhealthy love is a pissing contest, a tug of war, a mute silence and a kick stand. It is obvious. Unhealthy love promotes the false self and stunts growth. It is a drug.

Healthy love is a choice. It is something you decide to give as a gift. It has conditions that shape the self and strengthen the other. Healthy love is feeling powerful and independent. It is grilled cheese and vegetable soup on a rainy day but not every day. Healthy love is patient, kind and accepting. Healthy love requires a tremendous amount of responsibility which involves communication on all levels and constant reflection. It is building trust, having faith and holding a commitment. Healthy love promotes growth and two strong containers. Healthy love is rare."

Via: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5425/The-Difference-Between-Healthy-Love-and-Unhealthy-Love.html

Such an accurate observation and simply a sad truth that such love is so rare. But also dangerous, I think, to paint the picture that these two types of love are so black and white. I think that any love can become a healthy love...if healthy people are both making the efforts. 

I'm trying to become a healthy person again. In all honesty it's been a while since I could say that I really was healthy inside and out and deep down to my core. So many choices and situations have stacked up over the years and there is so much physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to work through in order to be the picture of health that I have in my head.

But I do have an image in mind...a memory that becomes less distant every single day. I know that I deserve that first kind if love and so does everyone else. I want it. And I'm really working on having it by being that particular kind of reflective, kind and patient and learning to trust myself. It's healing and it's building and it's just what's going on with me right now. 

And not much else, unfortunately. You have found yourself on what might possibly be the most boring blog in the world these days. If you want more sexy pictures of motorcycles and butts and buildings, I suggest you find your way over to my tumblr. 

In the meantime, here...from inside me...this is where I'm really trying to keep it real and this exercise of writing it all down is like a process of goal setting and follow through. An important part of the action of growth. This is, after all, the evolution. 

1 comment:

Pri said...

You are being heard. Not boring. Don't stop.