Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I realize the last post may have sounded down, or pitiful, or sad...mostly because it was.

But like I said, I don't waste too much time in that head space. Thanks for the comments. Thanks also for simply reading.

Today is a new day, ripe with the pain and potential of growth. I think somebody upstairs has heard me, and I've spent the better part of the day working on two important pieces to the puzzle that is my career. One was new business, which isn't a sure thing...it never is in this game. It's high stakes, eat what you kill, and cutthroat...and that's keeping it light. But being in the mix today, having the rush of the possibility, thinking about the potential...that's really what I like about it all. No matter what comes of it, I will not leave any angle unconsidered, and I will make sure everyone I work with knows that they are dealing with a professional that takes it serious. It is. It always comes down to my family, and this is what I do to provide.

I had that conversation with another person in my field this morning...about taking care of family, and how they provide us with the will, the desire, and the fuel to step up and take the risk and do what it takes day in and day out. This person, coincidentally, was piece number two to the puzzle. This person is someone with whom I share a lot of viewpoints with about the industry we both work in, about family and the priority they have, and about character and integrity. This person is someone I want on my team, and this person wants the same. More to come soon...but the wheel is in motion, and the future is again full of change and promise.

Growth comes in many shapes and sizes, but along with it is the inevitability of change. If nothing else, I am learning how to adapt these days, and I like the way this change is going.

Monday, September 26, 2011

I want a pep talk

It's strange being in an office that I was once upon a time coached in. Sitting in a space, trying to figure it out, praying that it will work or get better or change, knowing that the one who listened and actually heard, spoke when he knew it would make a difference, challenged me at every opportunity, and cared about every detail, is gone.

I wish I were on the football field, or the court, or the battlefield, or somewhere that I could count on the pressure from outside to be as loud as the pressure from within. I want to fucking scream sometimes, but all that would do is scare the shit out of my dog, and the neighbors.

I talk to the mentors I have left on occasion, and catch a glimpse of reinforcement, of validation, of awareness that I am fighting the good fight. There are still people out there that I look up to and care about impressing. In a world full of so many selfish, lazy and hurtful people, it's a rare and wonderful blessing that I have any at all, but I know I do. And I care about what they think.

But I miss the guy that could go toe to toe with me when I needed my head readjusted. I miss the only one who wouldn't back down from fear of my temper because he gave it to me. I miss the moment of clarity when he would reinforce every fucking perfect rule that he instilled and every ounce of faith that he knew how to find. I miss the man who was as much a coach as he was a boss, an ear, a father.

I won't dwell in pity any more right now. Instead, I'll get back to what I think I need to do. I'll speak from memory, from experience and from my heart when I lend one of the many voices in my head to the memory that created it and talk to myself:

Stick with it.
Nobody is ever given more than he is capable of handling.
Count your blessings.
Be kind to those around you.
Be humble.

Thanks, dad.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Feeling the Pascal




P is the pressure,
F is the normal force,
A is the area.

Thanks for helping me understand nothing, Wiki

Friday, September 16, 2011


A year ago I was thinking about how stoked I was to share the Reno Air Races with Sean.

This year, I'm just grateful I wasn't there when this happened, and so sad for the families involved.

Monday, September 12, 2011


As I write this post, I'm sitting on a conference call. Normally, it would be rude of me to be so distracted with the internetz when I am supposed to be participating in a call. This is magnified by the fact that the members of this conference call are all of the chapter leaders of CCIM for our region, which is the southwestern states. All said, I think there are about a dozen chapter leaders on this call; I represent Northern Nevada as Chapter President. We talk about how our chapters are doing, membership, education, the industry as a whole. It's a highly coordinated event, with calendar events and reminders going out about a week prior to the call. It's an important part of chapter leadership, and something everyone takes pretty seriously for the good of our organization of commercial real estate professionals. We all give chapter updates, and suggest best practices for maintaining the integrity of the CCIM brand of experts in our field.

So yeah, it would be pretty rude of me to be sitting here blogging while I'm on the call.

Except that some other chapter leader decided to check out of the meeting temporarily, and he or she put the call on hold. And he or she obviously didn't know that the hold button came with some very loud, very dramatic music that everyone in the virtual conference room is now listening to because we can't talk over it.

It's pretty hilarious, except that we all have better shit to do than reschedule this call that we've been gearing up for over the last week. (OK, in my case, for about 10 minutes prior to the call, but whatever, I gave a detailed report, as usual).

And now we are rescheduling, and now I must quit blogging and get back to work.


Never a dull moment.

Monday, September 5, 2011

At the risk...

...of losing all of these pictures to the vast, dark ether of the internetz, I feel the need to post some visual content at this time. These are the things that keep me going right now. These are the reasons I put in the hours. These are the fruit. These are my joy.

They are not all-inclusive. They are the means to the ends. They are the memories, the hope, the now and the future. They are my heart, my soul, my reason for being. There are more people, places, and things that belong on this stream of imagery.

I'm buried, tired and struggling. I'm grateful, cared for and watched over. I'm handed a new stack every day. I'm given new reasons to get down on my knees every morning. I'm often convinced that I can't make it. I've been given the tools to make that thought go away within seconds.

I'm stoked. I'm sad. I'm trying.

I'm no different than you.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for being out there to listen. Thanks for being a cheerleader. Thanks for being a reason.

I'm done rambling aimlessly. I'm getting back to work now. I'm convicted that there will be cause for celebration. Despite any changes to the way I may do it: I still like to party.