Thursday, May 26, 2011


Twenty-eight years ago today, something amazing happened.

And she just keeps getting more beautiful every day.

Thanks for letting me in to be a part of this awesome journey, Anna. Happy Birthday!!

Get the fat out of your ears!


Regard me.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Wanna see something cool?

This is the photomosaic screen saver on my macbook. It's frickin' amazing to just sit and watch. It works off of all the photo's in my iphoto and makes them into another picture which then is a part of the next mosaic and so on and so forth ad infinitum. It's a real facemelter. It's better in person, so next time you visit ask me and I'll show you. It's like a damned time machine. That or the acid is really kicking in.

Kidding, Mom.

Friday, May 20, 2011


Getting the kids ready for school this morning, I walked in on them mid-fight. They are pretty sweet 99% of the time, so the "fight" was pretty watered down as sibling rivalries go, but it was happening, nonetheless. As I turned the corner into the room, I saw Ireland grabbing Sean by the arm (she is the more violent of the two), and Sean was saying something about how much he didn't like her. Both were upset. As they turned and looked up to see me standing there watching, they both got sad, and I did too. I gave a dramatic pause and said, "This makes me really sad to see." Tears started flowing from both of them. Not the kind of tears that say, "Dad, don't get mad, because I'm really upset and this crying is my defense mechanism to prevent you from punishing me." No, these tears were legit and came from inside them, the guilt of what they were doing actually weighing on those precious little hearts of theirs. We had a nice talk, and they listened well, and I heard my own father's voice come out of me as I watched myself almost out-of-body-like, in disbelief that the words I had heard years ago (slightly varied with my own personal spin on them) resonated in the air.

"You are each other's best friend, and you will be forever. You may not realize it right now, but you will, and you need to treat each other with love and respect all the time, no matter how hard it is."

Ain't it the truth.

So all morning I've been reflecting on a very special relationship I have had since I was not even two...with my sister Erin. I remember my dad telling me on several occasions how much she looked up to me, how nice of a girl she was, how important my relationship with her was, and how I should treat her and all women. (Jesus, I just now remembered that I told Sean about being a gentleman last night, too...he was carrying 3 bags into the house, 2 of which were Ireland's). Anyway, my little sister used to get on my nerves something awful. She tagged along everywhere, copied everything I did, and just all-around-irritated the shit out of me since I can remember. But as I got older I had the real pleasure of learning my lessons, and letting her in. By high school, she was my best friend, and she was a lot of fun. I enjoyed hanging out with her, finally, and I swear it wasn't just because she had cute friends (a point my dad was sure to include in his early speeches). No, Er Bear was, and still is one of the funniest, real chicks around. She gets it, on many levels. I never have to hold back with her, and that's what I love about her: I can be myself, and she will love me regardless, which is the same way I feel about her to this day. She is a beautiful woman now, and the proud mother of 3 of the coolest kids every to grace this world with their beautiful, positive, energetic presence...they came from someone who knows what that is all about.

Erin was always the "mom" when we grew up, not only because she wanted, like so many little girls, to grow up and be just like her mom. No, she took it to the next level, which included mothering professionally, like as a choreographer for family dinner night "shows" (lip sync performances of the highest quality, led by my cousins, sister, and oft-backed by my little brother on air guitar...poor kid didn't have a chance, getting thrown in with all of those women.) She was motherly in her babysitting duties, a profession she had on lock down at an early age. She was motherly in her care and concern for others like myself and my bandmates in high school. We would be making horrible music in the basement after school, and here would come Erin with a plate of fresh-made sandwiches. Delicious. Erin had a lot of killer qualities, and it's amazing to see them repeated in those wonderful children, my nieces and nephew.

Just like anyone in this world, Erin has good days and bad days, and even when they are bad she gets up early, takes care of her kids and her husband, and everyone else in the world along the way. She has done a superior job taking care of me, my kids, my friends, and anyone she comes into contact with. She is amazing. When I pause every day to count the blessings I have in my life, she is right there on the list every time. I am so lucky to have a sister like her, because she gets me, and she sets a great example of how to be accepting and loving, and make people smile along the way. I love her.

Er Bear, I hope you take a minute today and count up all of those blessings in your life. They are many and massive, and they are ALL a result of the love you have put into the world. What we give, we get, and you got a lot, little sister. And you deserve it all. And even though I know I deserve the same things, don't think for a second I take any of them for granted...especially you.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Man Was Born

So it' your birthday, and I just wanted to drop a little note to say something appropriate. Truth be told, it's an impossible task, but one worth striving for...we should always hope for the best and try our hardest, give it our all, and smile along the way. Those are some lessons you taught me, Uncle Mark. And while I doubt that there are any words I can put together to adequately reflect what an important man, role model, friend, confederate, oft-partner-in-crime, uncle, great-uncle, mentor, psychotherapist, bear-hunting-tour-leader, co-star in Chuck-Norris-Like wilderness action movies, and just all around fucking badass you are, I will always do my best, I will always know that I can do better, and I will TRY my best to remain humble, because at the end of the day, that's exactly what you are: you are both the best man, and the most humble at the same time. You are selfless, respectful, kind, gentle, and yet you have the heart of a lion. The lessons I have learned and those that I continue to learn from watching you, Mark, are what this life is all about for me. Thanks, man. I love you.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Let it SHINE

This morning was absolutely beautiful. There are so many things that are feeding my soul right now. I can't help saying that each and every one of them is a gift.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Work hard, get paid


3/17: 5 miles ditch
3/18: xfit
3/19: 4 miles ditch
3/21: xfit
3/22: 2 miles trail and 30 minutes lift chest
3/24: 6 miles river and 3 miles mtb trail
3/26: 4 miles street
3/27: xfit
3/28: 6 miles ditch
4/1: 11 miles river race


I feel better than I have in years.

I have a lot to process right now, and there's more to be said, but for right now I'll just say that I'm a clear-headed, grateful human being. Life is good.