Sunday, January 30, 2011

Disturbing. Hilarious and Disturbing.


It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.
- Muhammad Ali

No Speak No Slave

Rooster crows at the break of dawn
A mother dies without her only son
A doctor laughs in the face of disease
I never once heard a preacher say please

And you, you want to be heard
But none of us understand a word
And you, you want to be free
Then don't speak like a slave to me.

Policemen break the law
Politicians rise and fall
A baby crying for its mothers milk
A daddy's secret hidden guilt

And you, you want to be heard
But none of us understand a word
And you, you want to be free
Then don't speak like a slave to me.

Right Now

I miss my kids.

So I'm going to list things I like at the moment:

  • Sitting across from Sean & Ireland in the booth, watching them laugh and eat. Listening to "White Unicorn" by Wolfmother in the car ride back to Babymama's house, rocking out with them, knowing that they are the most musically diverse kids in the world with only a cumulative 11 years of experience between them. I.Love.EveryFuckingMinuteWithThem.
  • San Francisco
  • The idea of a new tattoo...for my dad.
  • Reeeeeally good coffee. I have it for breakfast. I have it for dessert. I love it in a french press. I love it in triple-shot doses of espresso. I love it in a house. I love it with a mouse.
  • Instagram. I'm addicted. The group of people from around here are interesting, funny, beautiful, deep, and conflicted.
  • Chainsaw's Viper. I want one. It's a bad idea. The highway patrol would know me on a first name basis. And not all of them are as cool as Officer Guerello. I'll settle for my motorcycle,'s almost ready for the road, and it will be fast and raw, just the way I need it.
  • The word "Colossal".
  • Procrastinating about the pile of shit on my desk by making lists on my blog. Hey, it's Sunday.
  • Rabbit Confit.
  • Pull Ups. Push Ups. Big Ups. Coming Ups. Gitups. Pick-me-ups.
  • Lists.
  • Writing letters to exes and then throwing them away. They already know. It's for me.
  • Self Improvement. It's not really "masturbation". Look, I love Fight Club as much as the next skinny, angry fucker, but that line is just poison. Better yourself.
  • The knowledge that occasionally eases itself into my brain and my heart, gently reminding me when I most need it that everything is going to be OK. It may not feel like it all the time, but I know it to be true. To those who would make this knowledge harder to find: Suck matter who you are and how nice and forgiving I'm supposed to be to you because of your age, or station, or relationship to me. To those who would help me by reminding me that everything is good, and we are One: I love you beyond words.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Back & Forth

Just took a night in SF to eat at Flour + Water with some of my fave's. Then a little scenester catch-up at Lyon Pub. Thanks, kids...that was a great night back in the old haunt. I'll see you again soon. The trip was way, way too short, but the drive was fun...more like a video game than a task.

Today was 95% rad...filled with the happiest, raddest kids on earth, bumper-bowling, and a late-night game of "Dad, scare us some more!" I love that game. I put on a crazy-ass smile and growl like a psycho and my kids try to decide whether it's funny or they are about to pee their pj's. My mom used to scare the crap out of us as kids, too. Something sick and exciting about it.

That other's not really getting any easier. "These girls fall like dominoes...da-da-da-dominoes..." All but the one that means it all to me...and she is righteous right now. The second I get her on her own, she's a love, a firecracker, a dance machine, and right on the heels of her big brother, who incidentally, sets the bar pretty high for being a gentleman.

I am doing something right. These two kids are without question the smartest, happiest, most polite, funniest, most well-adjusted pair I have ever met. I have been worried about finding my center lately, recovering from loss, heartbreak, pain...all the things we all have to deal with. But I get a few minutes back with the shorties, and the rest of it literally falls away.

Life is good. I am grateful. I'm working my ass off, having fun as much as possible, and waking up every morning with pride and purpose.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Hey Aly

So I know it's not that interesting, but here's something just for YOU!

Thanks for the nice chat last night. I can only hope to be as lucky as the two of you...both beautiful and golden-hearted. I know that what you had to say to me was from the heart, and it takes a rare type of person that can actually get through to me and convince me that I don't ACTUALLY know everything.

I know nothing.

So I'm content to chill out, enjoy the solitude, figure it out. Not in Reno, of course. Road trip time.

And, since the control arm completely broke off the axel of my jeep, with thanks to my buddy, "Chainsaw", I'll be doing my thinking to the sounds of "Empire of the Sun" through the radio-transmitted iPod in my lap, muffled only by the sound of 10-cylinders of raw power. Last night, heading through the Sierra midnight at 125, and knowing that I had another gear and another 40-60 clicks on the speedo to go, I thought, "See, I don't have to push it so hard...I can ease off the throttle and just enjoy this nice meandering pace for a while." ;-)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Skinny guys

OK, it's official...he may think it's a bromance...fuck maybe it is, but dude, you had me at Fight Club.

Tyler Durden: OK: any historic figure.
Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden: Good answer.
Narrator: How about you?
Tyler Durden: Lincoln.
Narrator: Lincoln?
Tyler Durden: Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.

Thank you

Hang in there. You will get through this time. Whatever the meaning, whatever the message...keep your eyes open and your chin up.

Where there is a will there is a way.

Thanks for teaching me so much already.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

What you're going to ask yourself... why was I watching this to begin with.

Update: it's like telling a racist joke in here. I like the video because of the guy's hat in the beginning. I think that hat is amazing.



[pash-uhn] Show IPA
any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
strong sexual desire; lust.
an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire foranything: a passion for music.
the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became apassion with him.
an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly brokeinto a passion of bitter words.
violent anger.
the state of being acted upon or affected by somethingexternal, esp. something alien to one's nature or one'scustomary behavior ( contrasted with action).
( often initial capital letter ) Theology .
the sufferings of Christ on the cross or His sufferingssubsequent to the Last Supper.
the narrative of Christ's sufferings as recorded in theGospels.
Archaic . the sufferings of a martyr.
1125–75; ME (< OF) < ML passiōn- (s. of passiō ) Christ'ssufferings on the cross, any of the Biblical accounts of these (> lateOE passiōn ), special use of LL passiō suffering, submission, deriv.of L passus, ptp. of patī to suffer, submit; see -ion

pas·sion·ful, adjective
pas·sion·ful·ly, adverb
pas·sion·ful·ness, noun
pas·sion·like, adjective

1. See feeling. 6. fervor, zeal, ardor. 9. ire, fury, wrath, rage.

1. apathy.

This isn't about the obvious. It's about reading deeper into the meaning. Such is life.