Saturday, February 14, 2009


From an email forward. Some of these made me laugh way too hard! (In fact, I can relate to numbers 2 and 4 very well.)

What It Means To Be Irish

1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun, or uncle who's a priest.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone...
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin!
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (Catholic guilt forever!).
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.
12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen.
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking .
18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last Wake and our last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... You forget everything but the grudges!
24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of virginity, loss of driver's license, loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.
26) Your skin's ability to tan.... Not so much.
27) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other).
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included whiskey.
29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minute s.
30) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. In a bar.
31) Recognition of one's own limitations is the highest form of intellect!


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Honest Tea

I'm not always one for motivational quotes and shit like that, but I just read the inside of the lid to my "Honest Tea" bottle of Green Tea that I got for lunch. It says:

"It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

Indeed. Words I can relate to. Nothing literal, of course...I haven't been climbing any actual
mountains lately. In fact I'm in horrible shape, but that's not what I'm talking about so lay off me and hand me that ash tray.

What I am talking about, dear reader, is life and the challenges that we are faced with. How you relate the grain of sand to your own daily slice is really your choice...your's your mountain.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ask and ye shall receive

It's been far too long since my last post. The excuses are many, far too detailed, complicated, and troublesome to get into here. As I recently explained to a friend, I'm going through kind of a dark period, and I really don't feel like putting that kind of vibe out on my blog. I think that this little slice of the interwebs is a place for the funny, the happy, the stirring, the obtuse, and sometimes the over-the-line. It's not dark. So despite the fact that I do have a lot of things going on in my life, I'll save the majority of it for a summary post, or perhaps even a different blog. As one buddy suggested, maybe I start up "the de-evolution of what is left of me". That's fucking hilarious. I'll talk about that guy some day, too, but today is not that day.

I really appreciate the fact that a few readers have made it a point to reach out to me to nudge an update. It makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy that this silly quilt of stories and stuff actually touches people enough that they care about the frequency of updates. I have to say Thank You to those people, because you either really care about the things I have to say, or you just really need a life. Either way, I'm good, and my ego doesn't judge.

In my typical fashion as of late, however, I am going to fill the majority of this post up with the old go-to, fall-back content that is my children. They are the light of my world, and they give me reason to smile day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of other good things going on in my life as well, (including a new business venture that justifies it's own dedicated blog, but that's still top secret, and I'll hit you with that facemelter when the time is right), but nothing touches my heart on the same level as Sean Patrick and Ireland Danielle. They simply rule. They are sweet, innocent, polite, funny, smart, and above all they are the two most beautiful kids I have ever, ever seen. When a very special photographer named Jessie Baldwin, took some family pictures of us over the holidays, I had a feeling that they might end up on this page. I got a hold of them and then I got permission from her to post them, and I have to say, she is saving my blog-deficient ass with the following pictures as the best content I have yet to produce...on the Internet or otherwise.
That's right, I did make these babies. Not by myself, mind you, but I had a part in their existence. To date, and most likely for the rest of my amazing and challenging life here on this planet, they are the best thing I have ever done.