Tomorrow is another day

Actually, the tomorrow I refer to is yesterday now, but whatever. Yesterday was pretty rad, and that's the point. The reason it was rad, in case you were wondering, is that I took the morning off to drive Sean and Ireland up to Sand Harbor and hang out next to the beautifully cold water of Lake Tahoe.

Those kids are so much fun. Sandcastles, skipping rocks, playing paddle ball (I think we got a rally of 6 hits going, which is good for a 5-year-old), wading in the shallows...and lots of love and affection. That's what I miss the most these days. Even getting it for a few hours yesterday doesn't seem to fill me up. I can't get enough.

Ireland is turning 3 this month.

Wow.

Hard to explain

An age that melts with unperceiv'd decay, And glides in modest innocence away.
-Samuel Johnson

As I get older, there are heavy, sad things that weigh heavy in their balance of the happy, good things. These things all are a part of life. There is no escape from one or the other.

JC

I don't normally get offended by obscenities or even blasphemy. Anyone who knows me would agree that as a matter of fact, I think that the occasional F-bomb or appropriately timed swear word make for healthy, proper dialogue. Some people (hi dad) tend to completely disagree with this perspective of mine, but I do it anyway, and we manage to remain friends. It's who I am.

So imagine me getting upset about it. I was even surprised at my own reaction this afternoon when I had the following experience at a bank that I do business with:

I walked into the empty line, and waited as 4 tellers at their empty windows looked up at me, and went back to ignoring me for 3 or 4 minutes. Finally, one girl came from the back, where the drive up window is, and actually acknowledged me,

"Someone will be right with you, sir."

"OK, thanks," I replied.

A couple of minutes later, the girl on the end finally looked up with a sigh and a face like she was having an extended Monday, and told me to come over. I did, and got to my business. While I was standing right in front of her, she noticed that several people had lined up behind me at that point, so she looked to her right at the girl next to her and snapped,

"You need to help the customers!"

I remember thinking that yes, she was right, and someone should say something. Bully for her. Until...to herself, but loud enough to specifically make sure I heard her, she then exclaimed,

"Jesus CHRIST!"

Wow, I thought, that was off-putting. I own a bar, and I'm used to that type of behaviour and much worse in that environment, but this was a bank! I was so taken back by her audacity, and her assumption that I was someone who wouldn't take offense to such language. Well, I do use that kind of language, but Jesus Christ, that was actually offensive! I couldn't BELIEVE that she would represent herself or her place of work in such a manner. I am friends with several of the higher ups at that particular bank, and the thought crossed my mind to see if they would like to come down to the floor and have a little discussion. Instead, I bit my tongue, remained silent, and waited for her to finish up:

"Is there anything else I can do?" she asked.

"Yes, there is," I replied,looking her dead in the eye, "You can watch your language."

She looked at me, and then in shame looked down and mumbled "I know."

That was more than enough for me. I feel bad that I needed to call her out at that moment, but maybe it's what she needed to hear. It's a lot better than bringing it up to her boss. It's a lot better than making a scene. We all have bad days, and she was probably having one today. I have had a string of a few of them recently, and as my dad will attest to, I'm not the most pleasant person to work around right now. I'm working on it. But the fact is that when I am representing myself to my clients, or to the public at large, I get my game face on, regardless of my attitude. I don't want to end up slipping like the teller did. I want to make it through the trying times that so many of us are dealing with right now. After all, one minute it's the slip of the tongue, and the next minute, it's blowing through the post office with my .40. Right?

God Damn, I'm just kidding. Fuck!

I remember MY first musrhoom trip

Ironically, it resembled this Crayola ad...except that I was much older than these little deviants.

Cre8

This is my little dude. He's not quite as little as he used to be. He was, however, the littlest grom at the skatepark today. It's no little feat that his little feet can manual, ollie, tailslide and pump that huge board up and down the concrete playground that I know will become like a second home

some day.

He likes to skate. I wish I had started when I was 5. (He actually started at 3 or 4, on a kiddie board, but he just got this full sizer over the weekend). If I had started that young I would probably have peaked and broken even more bones long ago, but I might have had a chance at being really good. The reason I know he's going to be good is because he LOVES to do it. Sure, he got a little scared of all of the "big kids" in the park today, so much that I had to hop on the board in my slacks and button down shirt just to show him that it was OK. (Thankfully I didn't hear any chatter from the crowd of cool kids, because I might have actually had to tell a 12 year old to fuck off. I may be temperamental as hell these days, but I really don't want to go there). Sean warmed up quickly and proceeded to roll around and try out some tricks. He's really good. Did I mention that?

He's just a lot of fun, and it's awesome to see him taking to something like skateboarding. I really don't care what he takes to, as long as he's having fun, and not doing anything bad to himself or others. I think this sport is not only going to be all of the above, but throw in that curly blond hair and his sweet smile and looks, and it's all over for the ladies. He won't even have to wear Emo shit and dye his hair to look cool...he'll just be money as-is. Amazing.

I should have started skateboarding when I was 5.

When life hands you lemons...

...make lemonade, right? Well, I just got a great idea about how to serve up the lemonade.

my happiness

my happiness
Originally uploaded by daddyisaninja.

Happiness is a commodity, and you had better get yours before it all runs out. For me, there is infinite joy in the little things. The little faces that come running to me on these few but precious days. The little rare moments in the day that I find a moment to take a breath and appreciate that I am alive and have so much to be thankful for. The little surprises in my world that show me hope and faith in the future of my life.

There is no perfection in the world, only the pursuit of it. And I think that in my quest for happiness I have begun to understand Bertrand Russle's take when he said, "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.."

I am in the middle of sacrifice and compromise, and I know that although I couldn't have planned the way my hand would play out, it's my hand to play, and I am happy with the cards that I have been dealt. I think about the two aces in this picture, and the rest of the cards in my hand, and I believe that I'm going to be sitting at the table for quite a while.

Princess

This is kind of a weird post to write, because it's about something that I wasn't really involved in. Ireland had her first spa experience recently, and she came to visit me and show me her nails afterwards. I didn't know she was going to do this, and I didn't know if it was a special occasion or what, but once I saw these pictures, I realized that any time is special for a Princess like her. Enjoy:

On Cool...

...or more appropriately in my case, on being uncool. Case in point: I haven't posted regularly in quite some time. In fact, when I have made any efforts to post, it's been in the form of making excuses about why I don't post, which is admittedly pathetic. I hate excuses; they are the proverbial assholes of the world, and nobody's excuse smells like a rose. So yes, dear Reader, I have been very un-cool, un-dude, un-becoming of a ninja as of late. Thanks to Anonymike and 'Tricko for calling me out on my last post. Thank you even more for giving me fodder for this one in the form of a classic line from a very classic movie, Shane.

Shane was shown to me first by my father, who incidentally, just turned 55 last week. Happy birthday, Pops. I work with my dad in commercial real estate, and he is so heavily involved in much of my life both as a mentor and a friend, that I sometimes fail to remember to mention him on here...or I get hung up on the trials of working with family, and I don't take time to focus on the amazing man that he has been and is in my life. He came by it naturally, and when he first rented Shane for me to see, he told me the story about when HIS dad took him to see the movie as a child, in some small movie theater that was close to the orange groves that surrounded his home in Tustin, CA. That same home would later be lived in by the daughter of another iconic movie cool man, John Wayne, but to be sure, the Egan's brought the coolness to the digs first! It's endearing to me now to look back on the fact that my dad saw this movie as one way to connect his childhood to his fatherhood, that he wanted to give me a taste of something that he thought was awesome, and that we could share in this, his favorite movie of all time.

The movie is ripe with fatherly tones, and sets the stage in the Old West format that pitted the svelte, blonde haired Alan Ladd against Hollywood's ultimate bad guy of the era, Jack Palance. These guys were the real deal, and elevated the bar for Westerns for years to come. A former boxer, Palance defined toughness through his actions on and off screen; at age 73 he proved it on stage at the Oscars when he did a few one-armed push ups to demonstrate to casting directors that "old guys" still looked good on (and off) screen. I will never forget watching the Oscars with my dad that year and hearing him relive Palance's coolness as we witnessed him do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGxL5AFzzMY . The final showdown between the two leading men in the movie is historic, and will probably never be matched. The lessons to be learned from the movie are several and worthy of a separate post, but since this one is just about coolness, we'll stick to the theme, and say that this movie is.

I'm so grateful to my dad for showing me his coolness over the years, for introducing me to the music that he loved, the films that inspired him, and for consistently demonstrating his personal version of good vs evil that he lives by in the extraordinary ethical way that he conducts his life on a day to day basis. Don't get me wrong, there are days (more often than either of us like to admit) that we just don't get along, and can't seem to agree on anything. There have been times in our lives where we have probably wanted to go blow for blow, and I don't mean verbally. It's not been easy being just like him...we are both stubborn, Irish, and proud. But here we are still working together in this office, during this challenging time in the economy, and in the midst of what I think will prove to be the most difficult time in my life...at least I hope it is. To shed a little more light on the subject, as if both of my regular readers have yet to hear about it, my home life has taken a dramatic turn over the last few months, and in fact, I have not been living there. The rest of the details are really more than I care to get into right now, but it's been a process that has forced me to re-think everything I knew about myself and my life as an adult, father, and ultimately, husband. All the while, I just want to do the right thing, in particular when it comes to my beautiful children. I want to be the same, cool father that my dad has been to me; to demonstrate the best version of myself to them, and to show them the same unconditional love that only the cool know how to dish out.

That's what makes my dad the definition: through all of the bullshit that I put him through, he is forgiving, patient, and his love is unconditional. I feel it every day, and I see it given out to my kids just the same. Even though I know he doesn't read this blog, I want to say that he is the coolest man, on or off screen, that I know. I'm sure that when he's 73, he'll be trying to bust out some one-armed push-ups while at the same time telling me "stop trying to puff out your chest, Popeye". Classic. Cool.

Donde esta Daddyisaninja?

He's at the bar, of course.

I've opened a bar. It's worthy of a lengthy blog post. I don't have the time, because I've opened a bar.

Thank God I know where to get a drink. Come in and see me before I implode.

Daddy does...

...hair.

Irish

From an email forward. Some of these made me laugh way too hard! (In fact, I can relate to numbers 2 and 4 very well.)



What It Means To Be Irish

1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun, or uncle who's a priest.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!
6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone...
7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin!
8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.
9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer (Catholic guilt forever!).
10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.
12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.
14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen.
15) Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.
16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking .
18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
19) There wasn't a huge difference between your last Wake and our last keg party.
20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.
21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.
22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... You forget everything but the grudges!
24) 'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'
25) All of your losses are alcohol-related (loss of virginity, loss of driver's license, loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.
26) Your skin's ability to tan.... Not so much.
27) At this very moment, you have at least two relatives who are not speaking to each other (not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other).
28) Childhood remedies for the common cold often included whiskey.
29) There's no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least 45 minute s.
30) You met your husband/wife/significant other/accountant/lawyer/landscaper/etc. In a bar.
31) Recognition of one's own limitations is the highest form of intellect!

ERIN GO BRAGH, I LOVE EM. MY KIND OF PEOPLE.

Honest Tea

I'm not always one for motivational quotes and shit like that, but I just read the inside of the lid to my "Honest Tea" bottle of Green Tea that I got for lunch. It says:

"It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
-Anonymous"

Indeed. Words I can relate to. Nothing literal, of course...I haven't been climbing any actual
mountains lately. In fact I'm in horrible shape, but that's not what I'm talking about so lay off me and hand me that ash tray.

What I am talking about, dear reader, is life and the challenges that we are faced with. How you relate the grain of sand to your own daily slice is really your choice...your metaphor...it's your mountain.

Ask and ye shall receive

It's been far too long since my last post. The excuses are many, far too detailed, complicated, and troublesome to get into here. As I recently explained to a friend, I'm going through kind of a dark period, and I really don't feel like putting that kind of vibe out on my blog. I think that this little slice of the interwebs is a place for the funny, the happy, the stirring, the obtuse, and sometimes the over-the-line. It's not dark. So despite the fact that I do have a lot of things going on in my life, I'll save the majority of it for a summary post, or perhaps even a different blog. As one buddy suggested, maybe I start up "the de-evolution of what is left of me". That's fucking hilarious. I'll talk about that guy some day, too, but today is not that day.

I really appreciate the fact that a few readers have made it a point to reach out to me to nudge an update. It makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy that this silly quilt of stories and stuff actually touches people enough that they care about the frequency of updates. I have to say Thank You to those people, because you either really care about the things I have to say, or you just really need a life. Either way, I'm good, and my ego doesn't judge.

In my typical fashion as of late, however, I am going to fill the majority of this post up with the old go-to, fall-back content that is my children. They are the light of my world, and they give me reason to smile day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of other good things going on in my life as well, (including a new business venture that justifies it's own dedicated blog, but that's still top secret, and I'll hit you with that facemelter when the time is right), but nothing touches my heart on the same level as Sean Patrick and Ireland Danielle. They simply rule. They are sweet, innocent, polite, funny, smart, and above all they are the two most beautiful kids I have ever, ever seen. When a very special photographer named Jessie Baldwin, took some family pictures of us over the holidays, I had a feeling that they might end up on this page. I got a hold of them and then I got permission from her to post them, and I have to say, she is saving my blog-deficient ass with the following pictures as the best content I have yet to produce...on the Internet or otherwise.

That's right, I did make these babies. Not by myself, mind you, but I had a part in their existence. To date, and most likely for the rest of my amazing and challenging life here on this planet, they are the best thing I have ever done.