Chuck would know

I may knot no how to do everything write.

Sometimes I feel like I might be losing my shit.

There is never going to be enough time.

I can't wait until....

Somebody throw me a donut.

Laughing is such a gift.

My kids are the funniest. They win.

I want everyone to be happy.

I need to get back to kicking ass. Chuck Norris Style.

He would know what to do.

He would probably just break everything in his way.

6, Halloween, Growing up

What a month.

What a life.

I am at a loss for words.

It's around the corner

Sorry, uncle Smokey...life is busy, and blogging is down the priority list.

At or near the top of the list right now is this project I'm doing for Sean's birthday. (He will be 6 next week. What the fuck?)

Anyway, I am doing an installation of skateboard related artwork and functionality.

I'm working on a 4-canvas picture for the wall. I've created my graphic, now I just need to stencil it and paint it onto the canvases. Here's a picture of it.

Here's a picture of where I got it from.

I figured it would be more excellent to actually have one of SEAN on his board than some other schmuck. Means more to me, anyway. And I love this picture of him.

I'm also creating a snowboard shelf for the wall, and I am painting 3 skate decks...design TBD.

Oh and I have to build a rack for the wall for the boards he actually uses.

Oh and the Babymama also requested I install a basketball hoop sometime between now and his birthday on Monday.

Good thing I don't have anything else going on in my life right now...

Hi

I'm still here.

Please enjoy this picture from an Aces game this Summer...it was fun.

Back for more soon.

For Ronstar*

Quick story.

I was having coffee with my friends BL and Trav. Trav just got back from Yosemite, where he was bummed he didn't bring his beachcruisers for the "fatty trails" that he and his dogs were limited to using. By fatty trails, I mean that they were flat and not anywhere as picturesque and challenging as the ones he wanted to take his dogs on. Alas, dogs are regulated to certain areas of Yosemite like the fatty trails, not because their genes and penchant for cramming ding-dongs in their face two at a time prevent them from wanting to do anything resembling a hike, but because them's the rules for dogs.

My guess is it's because of the bears.

Apparently, Yosemite is experiencing a pretty big bear overpopulation. This year alone there have been, according to T-bone, somewhere around 24 bear deaths caused by vehicles. That's just crazy! Those bears, however, were probably drinking heavily.

Case in point: T-Rex hears some rustling outside the tent, and then a pot and pan banging together...a human letting a bear know "I don't want you here". Well, Trixalot pops outside his tent and bares (sorry) witness to a big furry brown 400 lbs of comedy. He says he snapped a picture, but the blurry ball of brown fuzz isn't going to help, and I didn't need to see it to crack a smile at his description.

T-Money says there should have been some kind of game show music (I'm thinking Price is Right at this point) playing super fast because the bear barrelled from bear cannister to bear cannister, as if under a time crunch, trying to beat the buzzer, swiping at each one to see if he or she could luck out and snag a little snacky-poo before the buzzer sounded! I don't know if I'm telling the story right, and since I can't see your face(s?) as you read this, I will never really know if you got a kick out of that image as much as I did. Maybe it's because when I play the scene out in my head, I picture my buddy*, Papa, in his bear mask acting out the part of the actual bear. Is that wierd?

Matt, are you still paying attention? I need you to put that picture of yourself in the bear suit back up on your blog so that my reader(s?) can really tie this whole thing together.

Anyway, there's your pointless drivel for the week. Resume.

Today

I have been awake for an hour this morning, thinking about my life and what a crazy whirlwind of events has been taking place. I am at starbucks, resigned to giving up the extra 2 hours of sleep that I might normally get were I to ignore the burning feeling in my stomach. Instead I am going to embrace the feeling and go forth with purpose. It's time again for change. It's time to recognize the growing I have done and that I have more yet to do.

Today is Ireland's first day of pre-school. This week is Sean's first week at elementary school. It's going to be a big week for everybody. I know we are all a little excited and unsure of what is to come...nervous and scared to leave our comfort zone, but that's just a part of life. They will learn this. I will remember it.

In case we get lost.

My boys
Originally uploaded by daddyisaninja.

So my nephew Jeffrey is finally back in town with his mom, dad & sisters. It looks like he's here to stay this time, too as they are talking about enrolling him in school while my sister and her hard working husband await the imminent day when his new job in Reno opens up and they can pack the house in North Las Vegas and get back HOME! Needless to say we are all excited.

Sean is at the top of the list of people stoked to have them all back in town...but mostly Jeffrey, his only boy cousin! I knew Both boys would be happy to head out with Ireland and me to catch some of the Reno Tahoe Open on Sunday, so I picked Jeffrey up first and made my way to get the kiddos.

It was a short ride over with just the J-Man sitting next to me, filling me in on things and showing me just how much he has grown up since the last time I saw him. As we made our way down the hill, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, but didn't say anything as he put it up to his ear.

"Hey", he said into the receiver. I thought to myself, that was odd, I didn't hear it ring...must use vibrate like me...pretty hip kid. "I'm in Reno now. OK, bye". His conversation was short...and his phone was put away as quickly as it was pulled out. I wondered: was that a real conversation? Who just called this soon-to-be 6th grader? It occurred to me that it was actually a fake phone call so he could show me that he has a cell phone now...a modern day right of passage or something. I decided not to talk about it. About a block down the road, the phone came back out again and Jeffrey let me know, "hey Brian, if we get lost or we need to know where we are, I have gps on my cell phone. This is my cell phone."

Sigh of relief.

"Awesome, dude." All of it really was awesome. My nephew is a young man now. He's not only, like every normal 6th grader, looking for attention and recognition from his elders and peers, and finding out which is which...he is also still happy, sweet and considerate.

We all went to the RTO, and he was more like a big brother than a cousin. My kids love him like he is there every day. I hope he can be.

This picture is from yesterday morning when Sean, Jeffrey and I took Bodie up on a hike...boys being boys...something Jeffrey is very good at, and something Sean recognizes as good. I know with boys like Jeffrey in Sean's life, I have no worries about what kind of awesome young man my son is becoming.

PS: Unbelievably good

You Two

I made history in my world last night. For the first time, I got my kids to spend the night with me. We had a great day all day, did some swimming, chilled out and watched a movie, went to my mom's house for dinner with her and my brother and his wife. When we got home, I gave them a bath, and I pulled out the brand new spider man and barbie toothbrushes, (and pointed out the donuts that they could get in the morning), and neither Sean nor Ireland flinched...they knew this time that they weren't going to have a meltdown, that they were comfortable enough in the apartment that has been my temporary digs for quite a while now, that they wanted to be with me. I ended up renting "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" for us all to watch as we fell asleep. It's an old Dick Van Dyke Movie, and I kind of remembered it from my childhood.

One thing about old movies, even when they are made for kids, is that they just can't keep up with today's Pixar brilliance. But they are colorful and fun and full of music, and the kids liked this one enough to watch about 15 minutes before the sleep took them over. I, however, stayed up watching it, thinking about how much I resemble Dick Van Dyke (don't know if that's good or bad, but I have a feeling he was Poppin' Mary back in the day, if you know what I mean, and Julie Andrews was hot, whether you're into the maid thing or not...also, he was wearing a pretty badass ascot in most of the movie, and I'm thinking about rocking that to more formal occasions this summer, we'll see. I digress). What a funny idea it turned out to be, when shortly into the film, a song came one called "You Two". It was Dick singing to his two kids, and the lyrics (googled for your pleasure) went like this:

"What makes the battle worth the fighting?

What makes the mountain worth the climb?

What makes the questions worth the asking?

The reason worth the rhyme?

To me the answer's clear;

it's having someone near; someone dear

Someone to care for; to be there for.

I have You Two!

Someone to do for; muddle through for.

I have You Two!

Someone to share joy or despair with;

whichever betides you.

Life becomes a chore, unless you're living for

someone to tend to be a friend to.

I have You Two!

Someone to strive for, do or die for

I have You Two!

Could be, we three get along so famously,'

cause you two have me,

and I have You Two too."

Seriously, I had no idea that the theme of the single dad with his two kids was even a part of that movie. I think I must have been Sean's age when I watched it, and I probably remember as much of it as he will later today...and he didn't even make it to the part where the car sprouts wings (brilliant for a movie of that vintage, btw). You can imagine my surprise, and slight emotional response when I saw that part. Now, I'm not saying that it mirrors my life in any way, just that the similarities, on this night 9 months after I left the house, when my two awesome children finally felt safe and comfortable enough with all of the trauma that surrounds them and the confusion in their heads, to pull up the covers and slip away peacefully with me.

When Ireland woke up to me watching her and the first thing she did was get a great big smile on her face this morning, it made my day, and probably my week. After a very, very long week at work, sure to be followed up by more of the same, there is not too much that could make me frown today. Seeing Sean's big blond bed head while he sipped his juice made me think that I, too, might be OK because I have those two.

Tomorrow is another day

Actually, the tomorrow I refer to is yesterday now, but whatever. Yesterday was pretty rad, and that's the point. The reason it was rad, in case you were wondering, is that I took the morning off to drive Sean and Ireland up to Sand Harbor and hang out next to the beautifully cold water of Lake Tahoe.

Those kids are so much fun. Sandcastles, skipping rocks, playing paddle ball (I think we got a rally of 6 hits going, which is good for a 5-year-old), wading in the shallows...and lots of love and affection. That's what I miss the most these days. Even getting it for a few hours yesterday doesn't seem to fill me up. I can't get enough.

Ireland is turning 3 this month.

Wow.

Hard to explain

An age that melts with unperceiv'd decay, And glides in modest innocence away.
-Samuel Johnson

As I get older, there are heavy, sad things that weigh heavy in their balance of the happy, good things. These things all are a part of life. There is no escape from one or the other.

JC

I don't normally get offended by obscenities or even blasphemy. Anyone who knows me would agree that as a matter of fact, I think that the occasional F-bomb or appropriately timed swear word make for healthy, proper dialogue. Some people (hi dad) tend to completely disagree with this perspective of mine, but I do it anyway, and we manage to remain friends. It's who I am.

So imagine me getting upset about it. I was even surprised at my own reaction this afternoon when I had the following experience at a bank that I do business with:

I walked into the empty line, and waited as 4 tellers at their empty windows looked up at me, and went back to ignoring me for 3 or 4 minutes. Finally, one girl came from the back, where the drive up window is, and actually acknowledged me,

"Someone will be right with you, sir."

"OK, thanks," I replied.

A couple of minutes later, the girl on the end finally looked up with a sigh and a face like she was having an extended Monday, and told me to come over. I did, and got to my business. While I was standing right in front of her, she noticed that several people had lined up behind me at that point, so she looked to her right at the girl next to her and snapped,

"You need to help the customers!"

I remember thinking that yes, she was right, and someone should say something. Bully for her. Until...to herself, but loud enough to specifically make sure I heard her, she then exclaimed,

"Jesus CHRIST!"

Wow, I thought, that was off-putting. I own a bar, and I'm used to that type of behaviour and much worse in that environment, but this was a bank! I was so taken back by her audacity, and her assumption that I was someone who wouldn't take offense to such language. Well, I do use that kind of language, but Jesus Christ, that was actually offensive! I couldn't BELIEVE that she would represent herself or her place of work in such a manner. I am friends with several of the higher ups at that particular bank, and the thought crossed my mind to see if they would like to come down to the floor and have a little discussion. Instead, I bit my tongue, remained silent, and waited for her to finish up:

"Is there anything else I can do?" she asked.

"Yes, there is," I replied,looking her dead in the eye, "You can watch your language."

She looked at me, and then in shame looked down and mumbled "I know."

That was more than enough for me. I feel bad that I needed to call her out at that moment, but maybe it's what she needed to hear. It's a lot better than bringing it up to her boss. It's a lot better than making a scene. We all have bad days, and she was probably having one today. I have had a string of a few of them recently, and as my dad will attest to, I'm not the most pleasant person to work around right now. I'm working on it. But the fact is that when I am representing myself to my clients, or to the public at large, I get my game face on, regardless of my attitude. I don't want to end up slipping like the teller did. I want to make it through the trying times that so many of us are dealing with right now. After all, one minute it's the slip of the tongue, and the next minute, it's blowing through the post office with my .40. Right?

God Damn, I'm just kidding. Fuck!

I remember MY first musrhoom trip

Ironically, it resembled this Crayola ad...except that I was much older than these little deviants.

Cre8

This is my little dude. He's not quite as little as he used to be. He was, however, the littlest grom at the skatepark today. It's no little feat that his little feet can manual, ollie, tailslide and pump that huge board up and down the concrete playground that I know will become like a second home

some day.

He likes to skate. I wish I had started when I was 5. (He actually started at 3 or 4, on a kiddie board, but he just got this full sizer over the weekend). If I had started that young I would probably have peaked and broken even more bones long ago, but I might have had a chance at being really good. The reason I know he's going to be good is because he LOVES to do it. Sure, he got a little scared of all of the "big kids" in the park today, so much that I had to hop on the board in my slacks and button down shirt just to show him that it was OK. (Thankfully I didn't hear any chatter from the crowd of cool kids, because I might have actually had to tell a 12 year old to fuck off. I may be temperamental as hell these days, but I really don't want to go there). Sean warmed up quickly and proceeded to roll around and try out some tricks. He's really good. Did I mention that?

He's just a lot of fun, and it's awesome to see him taking to something like skateboarding. I really don't care what he takes to, as long as he's having fun, and not doing anything bad to himself or others. I think this sport is not only going to be all of the above, but throw in that curly blond hair and his sweet smile and looks, and it's all over for the ladies. He won't even have to wear Emo shit and dye his hair to look cool...he'll just be money as-is. Amazing.

I should have started skateboarding when I was 5.